Imagine this scenario: after more than twenty years of marriage, raising children, filing joint tax returns, and buying a home together, you face a divorce. Then comes the shocking claim from your spouse: the marriage was never valid to begin with, and you are entitled to nothing.

This nightmare scenario was at the heart of the 2020 Appellate Division case D.A.M. v. M.J.M., where our firm successfully represented the wife. The case highlights how New Jersey courts rely on fairness and equity to protect spouses when the validity of a marriage is challenged.

The Facts: A Ceremony Before a License

In D.A.M., the parties had a Jewish wedding ceremony on December 5, 1993—but they had not yet obtained a civil marriage license. That license was issued later in December. After some clerical delays and incorrect dates from the officiant, a Certificate of Marriage was eventually filed in April 1994.

For the next two decades, the couple lived fully as husband and wife:

• Filing joint tax returns
• Owning property as tenants by the entirety (a status reserved for married couples)
• Raising children together
• Designating each other as “spouse” on insurance and school forms

When the wife filed for divorce in 2014, the husband moved to dismiss, claiming the marriage was “absolutely void” under N.J.S.A. 37:1-10 because the ceremony took place before the license was issued.

The Law: Quasi-Estoppel Prevents Injustice

The trial court and the Appellate Division rejected this argument. Although the statute requires a license before marriage, the courts looked at the husband’s conduct over twenty years and applied the equitable doctrine of quasi-estoppel.

Quasi-estoppel prevents someone from “blowing hot and cold”—taking a legal position inconsistent with how they acted for years—when doing so would harm another person. As the New Jersey Supreme Court explained in Heuer v. Heuer (1998), courts will not allow a litigant to exploit a contradiction for unfair gain.

Here, the husband had embraced the benefits of marriage for decades. To suddenly deny the marriage’s validity solely to avoid financial obligations would have been a fraud on his wife and on the public. The Appellate Division held that the marriage was valid for purposes of the divorce. The husband petitioned the New Jersey Supreme Court to review the case, but his request for certification was denied, leaving the Appellate Division’s decision fully intact.

What This Means for You

For Clients: New Jersey courts will not allow your spouse to erase a lifetime of marriage by pointing to an old paperwork mistake. If you lived as a married couple, the courts will protect your reasonable expectations and ensure fairness in divorce.

For Referring Attorneys: D.A.M. underscores that statutory violations do not always control. Where a party’s conduct conflicts with their legal position, equitable doctrines like quasi-estoppel remain powerful tools. Courts of equity will not permit rigid statutory interpretation to defeat justice.

Protecting Your Rights in a Complex Divorce

The validity of your marriage is the foundation of any divorce case. When it is challenged, you need appellate counsel who understands both statutory law and the equitable principles New Jersey courts apply to protect fairness.

Our successful representation in D.A.M. v. M.J.M. demonstrates our experience in defending marriage validity and safeguarding client rights in complex family law disputes.

If you are facing a divorce or family law appeal where the validity of your marriage is questioned, contact us to schedule a consultation.